Admission
by Suiri
Summary: "I don't hate you." It wasn't much, but it was a start. Snip-bits of SwanQueen throughout the seasons.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Once upon a Time.

Warning: English is not my first language. Sorry for any mistakes. Pairing for this fic is SwanQueen. You have been warned!

AN: This takes place during the Ice-Queen arc.

Summary: "I don't hate you." It wasn't much, but it was a start.

* * *

**Admission**

* * *

"I don't hate you."

The admission was reluctant, a little forced, and it was said in a condescending tone. Emma personally thought that Regina looked as if she swallowed a particularly sour lemon, but on the bright side, the truthfulness was there. Emma's innate lie detector never pinged. Regina (even in that familiar acidic tone that she only seem to get when she was speaking to Emma) had meant what she said. She didn't hate Emma. Or at least there was a_ 'as much as I did before'_ that was left unsaid.

It was really a step up from where they had previously been (with Regina trying to murder her with an apple turnover and Emma as a short-tempered lumber jack who cuts down apple trees in a fit of rage). Three years of trying to co-parent a kid and fighting the forces of evil had bonded them.

They were civil. Civil enough, at least, to have lunch together, but apparently not civil enough to stop their squabbling. They bickered like an old married couple over a hamburger quarter pound deluxe for Emma and the smallest, most unappetizing (in Emma's opinion) salad known to mankind for Regina. Their argument came to a halt after Regina's confession.

"_I don't hate you." _

Those words were uttered across the table and it echoed between them.

"Okay then," Emma replied.

They sat there awkwardly in a booth in Granny's diner.

Emma absentmindedly noted how Regina's lips seem to tighten in displeasure. That expression of distaste was so purely a _Regina _thing that Emma wanted to grin. Knowing Regina, though, Regina would have taken it as a mocking smirk than a genuine smile. Emma could already see how narrow and flinty Regina's eyes would become. It wasn't hard to imagine how coldly Regina would react when she thought she was being mocked. Regina couldn't tell a sincere gesture even if it were to smack her dead in the face.

Emma sighed inwardly and ran a hand through her hair.

Henry joined them. He scooted into the space next to Emma. He sat his backpack on the ground next to the table leg and his brown eyes looked from one mother to the other, uneasy.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Just fine, kiddo," Emma ruffled his hair.

"Honestly, Ms. Swan." Regina reached across to smooth it back into place while Emma rolled her eyes and Henry tried to dodge the embarrassing and very public grooming.

"_Mom_," he whined.

There was a slight smile tugging on Regina's lips.

Regina looked less stress, less vindictive, and more relax now that Henry was there. He was her healing balm, the one thing in her life that she loved unconditionally. Regina glowed whenever Henry was around and Emma mournfully noticed just how beautiful Regina actually was. It was almost unfair. Seriously.

Sitting back, Emma allowed Henry and Regina's voice to wash over her. Once or twice, the other patrons of Granny's diner would give them a weird look. (The Evil Queen and Snow White's daughter peacefully sitting together made their eyes bulged). After the numerous times Emma and Regina almost strangled each other and how public and often their blows were, Emma couldn't blame them for staring. They were waiting to see if the serenity would last. A moment or two later, when it was a safe bet that Emma and Regina wouldn't be starting a magical fight with their powers, the stares went away and they were left alone.

Emma's eyes unconsciously went to idly stare at Regina, whose attention was lavished on Henry. It took Emma a moment to realize that Regina's voice had trailed off and that Regina was looking past Henry's shoulder.

Looking to the door where Regina was staring, Emma saw Robin Hood and his family standing there at the entrance. The bell at the top of the door annoyingly rang happily as the door closed.

Robin stared at Regina. His green eyes were filled with longing and regret. Marion touched his arm and his son tugged at his shirt. Robin reluctantly turned away to guide his family to a booth on the other side of the room.

Regina compose herself, shuttering off all the emotions on her face.

Emma studied Regina carefully.

As good as her mask was, behind those dark eyes Emma saw the hurt and the vulnerability. Without thinking, Emma reached out and grabbed Regina's hand, linking their fingers together on the tabletop.

Regina pulled her glaze away from Robin to look at their joined hand.

A thin, regal eyebrow arched.

Realizing how it must have looked, Emma cringed inwardly. Only her pride kept her from snatching her hand back.

Regina doesn't say anything about the impromptu hand holding. Emma honestly expected Regina to set her clothes on fire (she wouldn't put it pass Regina to do something like that), but instead Regina gave a quick squeeze before she tried to pull away. It was a quick and quiet 'Thank you for the concern, Ms. Swan, but I _don't_ need your _pity_.'

Emma stubbornly held on.

She latched onto Regina's hand with the resilience of a leech and she refused to let go.

Regina just arched another eyebrow.

"Mom?" Henry's voice broke through their staring match. Both Emma and Regina turned to him, startled.

"Which mom?" Emma asked.

"Err...both, I guess," Henry shook his head. "Why are you guys holding hands?"

"Err..." Emma looked to Regina for help.

'You're on your own, Ms. Swan,' said the look that was shot back.

"Thanks," Emma muttered. Out loud, she answered. "Because it's cold?"

It was such a lame answer that Henry and Regina balked together. Identical looks of disbelief (Henry had definitely inherited that expression from Regina) was shot her way. Emma almost squirmed in her seat as they stared at her.

Emma doesn't know if she should laugh or cry as Henry figured it out. A light goes off somewhere behind his eyes and he turned to Emma with a knowing look.

'He knows,' she thought. 'He knows that I know that he knows.'

_The long nights that she spent in bed thinking about Regina..._

_How she semi-stalked the woman around town (partly to make sure Regina wasn't causing trouble and the other part because she genuinely wanted to know how Regina was doing)..._

_How her gut twisted when she realized that she had inadvertently hurt Regina again by bringing back Marion..._

Henry had figured it all out.

Henry, the compassion and kind kid that he was, took the news with good faith and with an understanding expression.

'Good luck, Mom,' he silently communicated. 'I'm rooting for you.'

He accepted with ease that Emma's feelings for his other mother might run deeper than anyone would have expected and Emma, who had never had anyone just accept her totally without conditions or constraint, got emotional. With one hand still holding onto Regina's hand, Emma's other arm wrapped itself around Henry's shoulder. She pulled him in for a tight hug.

Across the table, Regina frowned slightly.

"Am I missing something?" Regina asked warily.

"Nothing," Emma and Henry chorused together.

Henry excused himself to go to the counter to talk to Ruby.

Taking advantage of the privacy, Emma finally admitted something to Regina that she had wanted to admit to for the longest time.

"I don't hate you either," Emma said.

It was the best she could do with the timing. Right now, Regina wasn't ready for another relationship. Not so soon after Robin. And besides, somewhere in town there was a ice-queen that was gunning for them.

With one last squeeze, Emma released Regina's hand as Henry came back with a basket full of fries. This time he scooted next to a pleased Regina.

Regina locked eyes with Emma.

There was history between them. History that included decades of hostility between Emma's family and Regina's. History that was dark and hurtful and full of anger. History that Regina has a hard time letting go, but she was trying.

"_I don't hate you." _

It wasn't much, but it was a start.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.

Warning: SwanQueen. Possibly misplaced grammar. English isn't my native language, but I promise to always try my best at catching every mistake I can.

AN: Hook and Emma never happened, but the Regina and Robin plot still remains. Takes place during the Maleficent-Lily Arc.

* * *

**Acceptance  
**

* * *

Emma was slightly drunk.

She sat in the far corner of Granny's diner, where the shadows never really seem to disperse, and she nursed a glass of whiskey. She could tell that Ruby and Granny were staring at her unsure of what to do or what to say. They had never seen Emma (who was always the embodiment of strength and confidence) look so lost. They tried to comfort her and Emma, after giving a weak smile and asking to be left alone, felt relief that they did what she wanted. Ruby gave Emma one last concern look and a quiet "We're here if you need us," and Emma was left in peace to wallow and think.

They lied.

The parents she always believed in as the epitome of all things good and kind had done something unforgivable. They had taken a child (not just anyone's child, _Maleficent's_ child) and they had sacrifice that infant for Emma.

"_We did it, Emma, so that you could be the person you are now. That goodness in you is what we are trying to save!" _

Her mother's words echoed in her head.

Maybe the worst part of all this mess was that her parents felt justified in a way about it. There was regrets and there was sadness, but in their minds, their actions were above reproach. They did what they had to do for Emma. They wanted to give her, her best chance.

'Wow. The view from their pedestal must be amazing,' Emma thought bitterly. She took another shot of whiskey.

Through all the turmoil, she thought about her son's other mother. It was on the tip of her fingertip to call Regina. She even had her phone out and the photo of Regina scowling at her from the screen made her lips twitch. The one thing that made any sense in this crazy world was Regina.

She _needed_ Regina.

It was almost terrifying how much she wanted to see the other woman. After a moment, she put the phone back (face down) on the counter. Emma doesn't know if she wanted Regina to see her like this. Lonely. Despondent. Hurt. Then again, Regina has already seen her at her worst hasn't she? And she had seen Regina at her worst.

Almost like an answer to her prayer, someone slid into the seat across from her.

When she looked up, Regina was there.

Dark scowl and all.

"Are you alright?" Regina asked.

Against her will, Emma felt herself relax a little. The tension for the last few weeks seeped away and the suffocating feeling in her chest eased. Regina was like a breath of fresh air. Here was someone who didn't see her as the Savior or Snow White's daughter.

Here was someone who saw 'Emma'.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Emma asked. Regina had known all along what her mother had done and she had kept quiet.

There was a part of Emma that felt a little betrayed that Regina had kept this secret from her.

But then again, it just goes to show how much Regina had changed. The old Regina would have used the information to exploit and hurt people. This Regina had quietly listened to Snow and agreed to keep the secret.

"It wasn't my secret to tell," Regina answered. Her dark eyes looked tired and wary. "Are you angry with me?"

Emma shook her head. "No." If anything, she felt a burst of pride for Regina. It was Snow and David who failed her.

Emma finished the glass of whiskey much to Regina's grimace.

"Come on, let's take a walk and sober you up," Regina grabbed Emma's arm.

"I'm not that drunk," Emma protested. She doesn't fight it though, when Regina pulled her from the booth. She tried to ignore the way her arm tingled where they touched. She was a tad disappointed when Regina released her when they got outside.

The season was getting colder and outside Granny's diner Emma gathered her leather jacket closer to herself as the wind blew. Regina in her tailored winter coat shivered slightly. The winters in Storybrook was never the same after the whole Ice Queen fiasco. The colder season are more brutal and longer lasting.

It was almost perfect the way it fit her mood.

Emma moodily trudged down the street following after Regina's elegant figure. She's more ungainly and awkward and if there was ever a time where she felt ugly in comparison, it was now as Regina seamlessly walked forward with her chin held high as if she owned everything.

Emma finally matched her step with Regina and they walked shoulder to shoulder.

They said nothing, yet everything in the silence as they walked down the street. Like always, there was a connection there that went beyond being Henry's mothers.

'Are you okay?' Regina silently asked.

'No.'

'You will be.'

The confidence of that silent answer almost made Emma believe that everything will turn out alright. Abruptly, Emma stopped and she grabbed a surprise Regina. She pulled Regina into a tight hug.

"Thanks."

There wasn't enough words in the world to convey what Regina meant to her.

Regina was a blessing.

Emma firmly believed that even when Regina herself didn't think so.

Regina was stiff in her arms. Then slowly, Regina's body lost the tension. She even brought a hesitant hand up to gently rest on Emma's back.

They held each other for a long moment.

Reluctantly, Emma release Regina when she noticed that some stragglers on the street were starting to stare.

"Will you help me with something?" Emma asked.

Regina frowned, but nodded.

"I need to find someone. Will you come with me?"

Emma needed to find Lily.

"You're leaving Storybrook?" Regina frowned slightly. "And you want me to come with you?"

"Yeah."

"Alright," Regina agreed. She looked thoughtful. "We can warned Robin about Zelena while we're there."

A pang went through Emma when Regina said his name.

"Yeah." Emma's voice was more subdued.

Regina gave her a strange look.

"Are you okay?" Regina looked almost concern. She placed a hand against Emma's forehead as if to check for a fever.

Emma flushed.

"I'm fine." Emma hastily moved away. "We'll leave in a few days?"

Regina nodded. "Henry can stay with Mary Margret and David while we're gone."

Emma flinched.

Regina sighed. "They're his family too." Her voice was almost gentler than normal.

"I know," Emma said unhappily. Like it or not, Emma wouldn't deprive Henry of his grandparents no matter how she felt about them.

They were both lost in thoughts as they continued to walk.

Before she knew it, they were already at Regina's home.

"Come on," Regina grabbed the edge of Emma's jacket. "You can spend the night."

Wide-eyed, Emma could only follow Regina up the cobbled walkway.

Right before they reached the front door, Emma grabbed Regina's hand and stopped her.

"Hey Regina, do you remember that time you locked yourself in your office?" Emma asked.

It wasn't a pleasant memory for Regina. The sour look on her face told Emma that she did remember, but wished she didn't.

"I told you that I would help you find your happy ending," Emma looked Regina right in the eyes. "I meant it."

Even if Regina's happy ending was with Robin Hood.

"Always the savior, aren't you, Ms. Swan," Regina rolled her eyes. Still, years of carefully studying Regina allowed Emma to pick up on the slight upturn of Regina's lips.

The front door opened revealing Henry.

"Hey Mom. Mom," he greeted them.

Later, while sitting with her son and Regina in a ridiculous large kitchen and listening to Henry talk about his day, Emma felt like she had finally found her place in her world. It was with the two people she cared for the most and Emma was overwhelm with a sense of happiness that was so strong, it scared her.

Past history have always warned her that when one good thing happens, usually a bad thing follows.

A dark sliver of thought wormed its way through her head.

She would have done everything, give anything, to keep Regina and Henry safe.

That's why, when Lily was down on her knees with a hateful glare and a promise to destroy every good thing in Emma's life, Emma almost pulled the trigger.

Regina stopped her.

In the motel room she had booked that night, Emma buried her face into her knees and shuddered, horrified about what she had been about to do.

"It's okay," Regina said through the door that Emma refused to open. But no amount of words could make the fear in Emma disappear. She came so close to becoming a monster. If Regina hadn't stopped her...

_'You were born with a propensity for darkness.' _Snow's voice echoed in her head.

"Listen Emma," Regina's voice sounded tired. "The fact that you stopped proved that you're every bit the savior that Henry thought you were. "

'No. No, I'm not.' Emma thought miserably. If Regina hadn't been there, she wouldn't have hesitated. Lily would be dead now instead of sleeping in the other room under guard by Robin.

Emma heard Regina sighed.

"Having faith in yourself is a hard thing. I know from experience." There was a dark sense of humor in Regina's voice. "So here's my advice. If you don't have faith in yourself, then have faith in Henry. He believes in you. So does your parents. Most of Storybrook, too." A small huff and a slight hesitation. "I believe in you as well. "

Emma got up and opened the door.

Regina looked a little startled.

That's when Emma noticed the bags under Regina's eyes and the exhausted expression.

"It's been one hell of a day, huh?" Emma leaned against the door. She shared a rueful look with Regina.

Finding Lily. Finding Robin. Finding Zelena. A _pregnant_ Zelena.

Emma doesn't know how much more she could honestly take or how much more Regina could stand.

Still...standing in the doorway of a crappy motel room with the dirty lights and dingy carpets, Emma realized that she wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now because the little confession that Regina gave was enough to make everything that happened worth it.

She finally got the confirmation she needed.

She had gone from being a nuisance, to being Henry's other mother, to, finally at that moment, being someone Regina considered a friend. Not that Regina had too many of those (Regina had too many trust issues).

That's what makes it more precious.

Emma chose to believe Regina. She could feel the truth in Regina's words. Regina was, after all, the one person in the world who was always overwhelming blunt when it came to Emma. She wasn't afraid to tell Emma the hard truth.

"Get some rest," Regina laid a slender hand on Emma's shoulder. "We have a long drive ahead of us."

'The carpool from hell,' Emma thought with a cringe.

Her and Regina along with Robin, Lily, and Zelena. It would be a miracle if they made it back to Storybrook in one piece.

"Goodnight, Emma."

With that Regina turned to go back to her room.

_'I believe in you as well.'_

Regina's acceptance was enough for Emma at the moment.

Emma, with that thought in mind, drifted off to sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.

Warning: SwanQueen. Possibly misplaced grammar. English isn't my native language, but I promise to always try my best at catching every mistake I can.

AN: This takes place during the Author Arc and goes through the Dark Swan Arc. Slight AU. I think you'll figure it out as you read what changes were made. Hook and Emma never happened, but the Regina and Robin plot still remains.

* * *

**Awareness**

* * *

Later Emma and Henry would refer to the world that the author wrote them into as the Mirror World. ("It's kind of like when Captain Kirk meets evil Spock, you know?" Henry shrugged and the nerd that Emma was on the inside felt proud that her son knew that reference.) They bonded over how strange everything had been. How off kiltered they felt as everyone they knew weren't themselves.

"It was weird to see Mom like that," Henry admitted as they sat in the park.

It has been a few weeks since they broke the spell and everything had, more or less, gotten back to normal. Or what passes for normal in Storybrook in any case.

Emma slouched next to Henry on the bench. Peering over her sunglasses, Emma caught sight of Archie walking Pongo in the distance. She lifted her hand in greeting and Archie waved back before disappearing around the bend.

"Yeah, it was." Emma agreed. Seeing Regina in place of Snow had probably been the strangest thing she had ever seen (this coming from the fact that Emma had seen a lot of strange things since coming to Storybrook).

Remembering that Regina from that world meant remembering how Regina had looked as she laid on the ground, brown eyes blown wide in shock as the blood spilled from her stomach. Remembering that Regina meant remembering how Henry desperately tried to staunch the wound and how utterly panicked Emma had been as she stood over Regina's body. Remembering meant remembering how helpless she felt. Regina was _dying_ and there was nothing Emma could do but watch as Regina struggled to stay alive.

Even though everything had somehow worked itself out, Emma still wished Isaac was in front of her.

She would have loved to get another crack at his nose.

"I had another dream again," Henry confessed. He looked at Emma. His eyes seemed older than they should be. He looked tired and Emma knew the same look was reflected on her face. They haven't been able to sleep soundly since the nightmares started. "She died in this dream, too."

Having bad dreams about Regina dying was something they had in common now.

'Like mother, like son,' Emma thought depressingly.

In sympathy, she reached out to ruffle his hair.

"They'll pass," she said. She tried to put as much confidence in her tone as she could.

Henry, taking her words at face-value, nodded. The absolute trust he had in her made Emma swallow a little. The confidence he had in her placed a whole lot of responsibility onto her shoulders, responsibility that she was still getting use to as a mother and frankly, it terrified her, but at least Henry looked a little more at ease at Emma's reassurance.

A happy Henry meant that Emma was happy.

"Come on, Kid. I'll treat you to lunch at Grannys," Emma offered.

Her cell rang.

Pulling it out, Emma doesn't bother seeing who it was before she answered.

"Emma!" Snow's voice was frantic. "Listen!"

The rest of Snow's words were spoken fast and jumbled as the panic set in.

"_Gold…. Darkness...Unleashed...Sorcerer dead!...Regina..."_

Emma got the gist and the rest she understood because flying up above her head at that moment was a black shadow.

Henry, who was listening in on the call, paled. "It's going after mom, isn't it?"

"Not if I can help it," Emma said firmly.

She took off with Henry at her heel. She practically leaped into her bug and in the passenger seat, Henry scrabbled for the belt.

They must have broken every speeding limit in Storybrook.

'It's a good thing I'm the sheriff!' Emma thought grimly.

When they arrived at the town square where everything and everyone seemed to converge, Emma wasted no time jumping out the car. She spotted Snow's figure up head trying desperately to shield Regina. Snow kept Regina behind her as she fired arrow after arrow at the black shadow and Regina took to being protected the way cats took to a bath; bristling and with claws out. Even though she was unhappy, Regina did what David told her to do. She stayed behind everyone else, throwing fireball after fireball. Robin was beside her shooting his own arrows.

Emma's heart dropped when the black shadow descended.

The black mass threw Snow, David, and Robin to the side, as if they were nothing, and it wrapped itself around Regina.

"Mom!" Henry took off. Only Snow reaching out and grabbing him kept him from reaching his other mother. David and Robin got to their feet. They were thrown back several feet again by a forceful wind when they tried to get close.

"Regina!" Robin's voice was frantic. "Hang on!"

"Regina!" Snow cried.

"Mom!"

There was so many voices calling out Regina's name. Emma could only stand there, numb to what she was seeing. David and Robin and even Snow tried over and over again to push forward through the barrier and each time they were thrown.

The darkness wasn't willing to let Regina go.

When the darkness threw Henry that's when Regina shouted at them to stop.

Through the black mass, Emma saw Regina's face.

'It's over,' the expression said. Regina looked resigned. There was a heaviness in Regina's eyes and one of apology as she looked at a desperate Henry.

Emma finally reacted.

Ignoring all the cries of her name, she somehow managed to get through the tornado like winds that surrounded Regina. She shoved herself into the swirling mass of black shadows and she shoved Regina out.

_'You're so much like your mother sometimes,' _David said once. _'You__r __mother __also __ha__s__ a habit of jumping into things without thinking.' _

Recklessness ran in the family.

So does the ability to hope against the odds.

That's why (after the Enchanted Forrest, Camelot, after Merlin, even after freaking King Arthur) when that hope fails, the damage that it does cuts tens times worst than the deepest wounds.

Emma Swan, the Savior, doesn't exist.

Only Emma Swan, the Dark One, is left.

She was powerful, bitter, and admittedly a little unhinged as she sat on top of the jungle gym in Storybrook Park. Killian looked wary as he approached. His eyes studied the dark leather outfit, the white hair, and the pale make-up.

"Hey Swan," he said. His voice was cautious.

Emma patted the seat next to her.

It hurt slightly that he kept his guard up as he approached, but it was understandable. With his history with the Dark One, it was a wonder that he even took the seat next to her.

"How are you?" he asked.

Emma cocked an eyebrow.

"Right," he muttered.

Even with his reluctance, Emma was glad to see him. He was the one friend she made on her own since she came to Storybrook (Graham had belonged to Regina and Red had belong to Snow). Once she got pass the douchey, play-boy act, she found that they had a lot in common. They had the same dry sense of humor. They both like rum and traveling (her in her bug and him in the Jolly Roger). They even had the same fondness for their leather outfits. Mostly, though, they bonded over the fact that they survived the world in a similar way; always looking after themselves first and foremost.

Killian knew what it was like to have no one, to feel as if the world was looking down and judging. They drank to being a survivor on more than one occasion.

He even knew about her complicated feelings about Regina.

"I've seen the way you look at her mate," he said before the mess with Issac happened. He caught her in the corner of the Granny's diner, trying vainly not to stare at Regina. "Not judging," he said when Emma started to look defensive. "It would be rather hypocritical of me." At her surprised look, he added. "It's can be a long trip at sea with no woman, Swan."

He slid into her booth, uninvited.

"Though there's no accounting for taste," he remarked.

Emma had spent the rest of dinner defending Regina.

Killian ends up becoming someone she trusted. She went to him with all her Regina thoughts, complaints, and dreams and he listened. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, they would sit on the railing of the Jolly Roger sharing the rum as they stared up at the stars.

A part of Emma wistfully missed those times.

"Who sent you out here?" Emma asked.

"No one sent me, love." Killian gave her a charming smile. Her lie detector went off. Someone, probably Snow or David, had managed to convinced Killian to go talk with her. They were trying to use him to find out why she had cast the curse.

If only they knew how much she had sinned...

_'I'm going to make up for it,' _Emma thought. The plan she had was slowly coming together. Soon Excalibur will be complete and the nightmare would be over.

"What happen in Camelot, Swan?" he asked. Killian was nothing, if not blunt.

Emma snorted.

Killian searched her face. "Was it that bad?"

"Worst." Emma replied.

She still remembered the deep, dark desperation that coursed through her veins as she took Regina's body to that flower field. She could still tasted the bile when the horrible realization that Regina wouldn't survive finally hit her.

"Let me die a hero," Regina had said. The wound on her neck (the one she got trying to protect Emma) began to darken. Even after all this time, even after all the good she's done, Regina still felt the need to prove that she could be a savior. That she could be a hero.

Emma's shaking fingers had smoothed back a lock of Regina's hair.

"Take care of Henry," Regina scrabbled for Emma's hand. "Watch out for Robin too."

Emma brought her forehead down to touch Regina's forehead. She looked into a pair of dark eyes that was starting to flutter close. "I'm so sorry, Regina."

She couldn't let Regina die.

The dagger in Emma's hand grew bitter cold as a black tendril spilled out. Regina's body disappeared and Emma saw the name Regina Mills etched on the blade before a mist of black engulfed her.

She found herself in a gloomy, twisted part of a forest. In front of her, at the edge of a clearing, a dark, tar-looking liquid began to bubble and rise from a circular stone etched with runes. When it solidified, a figure in a tattered cloak rose.

What stepped out of that circle wasn't Regina. It wasn't even the Evil Queen. It was a new breed of evil.

That's when it finally hit Emma what she had done.

She could still see the tears and accusation in Regina's eyes.

In desperation, she conjured the curse and brought everyone back to Storybrook without their memories.

_'I'm going to fix it,' _Emma told herself. _'I have to.' _

But she couldn't do it alone.

Emma was fully aware of Killian's one-sided feelings for her.

The old Emma would have ignored it in favor of friendship.

The new Emma wasn't afraid to exploit it.

"Will you help me with something?" she asked.

Killian eyed her carefully. "Depends, Swan, on what it is."

Emma moved.

Killian wasn't fast enough to evade her. His heart was already in Emma's grasp. It was warm, beating in Emma's hand.

"Swan." He seemed stunned.

"I'll give it back once I'm finished," she promised.

The heart vanished to a lock box she kept in her house. It was her only assurance that Killian wouldn't go babbling to David or Snow about what she was planning.

"What do you need me to do?" he looked wary.

"I need Excalibur. I need you to help me find the rest of it."

There wasn't any judgment on his face as he studied her.

That was why they got along so well.

Killian understood that sometimes there was no other path to travel other than the dark one.

"Alright, Swan," he said.

They got right to work.

...

The anguish on Regina's face when she found out the truth was hard.

"I never wanted to be like this! You've made me a monster!" Regina raged.

What followed afterward was Snow and David on twenty-four hour guard as Regina lets loose on the town.

Regina, as the Dark One, has less self-control. She's more volatile and her temper was shorter. No one except Henry was safe and already people were wishing for the Evil Queen days as Regina terrorized them.

Emma found herself tailing after Regina, desperately trying to keep the damage to a minimum until she could find a way to get Regina back to normal. Her plan of making Excalibur whole and using Zelena was beginning to crumble and wither.

In the end, in spite of the anger and betrayed, in spite of how bitter she was, Regina didn't think twice before handing the complete sword to Emma.

"You owe me, Emma," Regina said. There was determination in her voice. Her eyes were so clear and sure that it was difficult to image the internal struggle it took for Regina not to lash out and go after Snow who still with the crowd behind Emma. "Please."

_'Let me die a hero.' _

Emma's hand shook when she took the Excalibur.

She closed her eyes the moment she stabbed Regina.

There was a rush of wind and a tingling feeling as the darkness left her. She was Emma Swan, the savior, again. Excalibur fell apart in her hands and Emma caught Regina's falling body.

"Mom!" Henry was on Regina's other side.

"Henry..." Regina managed to smile weakly.

Emma couldn't take her eyes off Regina's face. Regina was so pale now. The whiteness of her complexion made the black poisonous cut on her neck stand out even more.

Henry's name was the last thing Regina said before her eyes closed and her heart stopped.

...

At Regina's funeral, she saw Robin hold on tightly to Roland's hand. She saw Snow and David holding onto each other. Even Henry was next to Violet.

The space by Emma's side was empty.

"Emma." Snow tried to reach out and comfort her, but Emma's magic kept an invisible barrier around her that no one could breach.

The coffin was lowered.

Emma turned away.

She used magic to teleport herself.

"Emma!" Her mother's voice was the last thing she heard as she poofed away.

She showed up in Gold's pawnshop. Grabbing the started man by his coat collar, Emma pulled him in close.

"You owe me," she said. The Dark One might have been pulled from her, but Emma the Savior was just as intimidating and twice as pissed. "You're going to help me get her back."

"Am I?" Gold asked. There was a smirk lingering around the corner of his mouth that Emma wanted to wipe off. She would have socked him if it wasn't for Belle who was standing nearby.

"You are," Emma said firmly.

After a few days of planning, she (and what seems like the entire town) plunged themselves into the Underworld.

...

"Why did you come all this way?" Regina frowned. Only Regina could find it less romantic and more annoying that Emma had journeyed all the way to the underworld to find her. "Why did you drag Henry down here?!"

"I didn't drag him," Emma protested. "He wanted to come."

"So you let him?!"

They got into another fight right then and there and really, Emma should have known that Regina would react in a less sane way when she realized that Henry had come along for the ride.

It was their default.

They were always fighting and arguing; always at each others throat. If only Emma didn't find a pissed-off Regina hot as hell, they might have argued less. They were an old bickering couple; only regretfully without the make-up sex.

There was a baffled look on Regina's face.

All too late, Emma realized that she said her thoughts out loud.

_'Shit!' _

"Emma-" Regina began.

Emma, horrified, used Snow as an excuse to make her escape. She wasn't proud of running, but it was better than the alternative where Regina is blatantly disgusted and sets Emma on fire. Or worst. Regina could give the 'I just don't feel the same about you,' speech while Emma listens, mortified and dejected.

Emma honestly wasn't ready for the rejection yet.

She avoids being alone with Regina even though Regina tried half a dozen times to speak with her in private. Eventually, Regina got the message. Angry, but composed, Regina allowed Emma to escape, but it didn't stop her from throwing sharp looks at Emma that was tinged with confusion.

Everyone felt the tension, even Henry who looked between his mothers with a frown.

"What happened, Swan?" Killian asked when he got her alone.

"Erg!" Emma wanted to hit her head against the wall.

"English, love." The look he gave her was half amused and half affectionate. Emma slumped on her ass to sit on the ground and Killian joined her.

"Sometimes I wish I'd fallen in love with you," she wearily confessed.

A relationship with even someone like Captain Hook would be less complicated than a relationship with Regina. Hell, a relationship with a Great White Shark would be less dangerous.

The tidal wave of emotion she felt every time she was even near Regina was starting to get more turbulent and complicated. Most times she doesn't know whether to strangle Regina or kiss her (only Regina could drive her that nuts).

Yes, a relationship with Killian would have been less complicated.

Killian doesn't response for a moment. There was a pained look hidden behind his eyes that made Emma flinch (she was so damn insensitive because she was well aware of his feelings for her).

Killian laid a hand on her shoulder.

He normally has only two expressions, playful or smirky, but now Emma was treated to a new expression.

"Things will work out, Swan," he said soberly. "Hero's always get their happy ending."

...

_'Good-bye, Emma.'_

...

The trip back from the underworld was less dramatic than getting there, but any relief at finally being home was null by the fact that once again she couldn't save Regina. The short, but sincere good-bye Regina gave to her echoed in Emma's head.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Henry said. His arms wrapped themselves around Emma who tried vainly not to cry (because crying in front of your teenage son was kind of lame).

"Thanks, Kiddo," she hugged him back just as tight.

Together, they mourned.

...

Hades, Emma realized grimly, was just as douchey in real life as he was in the cartoon.

He and Zelena deserve one another.

…

When Regina returned, thanks to Zeus, Emma doesn't react right away. She just stared numbly as Henry and Snow rushed forward. A part of her cracked a grin when she saw Regina almost fall backwards with the enthusiastic hug from the most hyper members of the Charming family. David is less forceful, but just as earnest as he greets her.

That left Emma.

The moment they locked eyes, Emma enfolded Regina into her arms.

"Welcome back."

...

Robin dies.

Hades dies.

Regina was in mourning, but she still took on double the work as she fought to take care of an emotionally fragile Zelena. Emma does everything she could to help, but she saw how Regina began to pull away from everyone, even Henry. Regina was distancing herself. She was becoming the close-hearted, angry woman that Emma had met all those years ago when Henry first brought her to Storybrook.

Like hell was Emma going to let Regina revert back.

She dragged Regina out of her house and left a wary Snow and David to look after Zelena and the baby. Getting Regina into the passenger side of her Bug, Emma walked around and got into the driver side.

"No poofing away," Emma warned.

"Poofing is not a word," Regina muttered, but she did was told.

They drove around Storybrook in silence.

"I'm sorry about Robin," Emma finally said. And she was. Robin was a little too preachy for her taste, but Emma could tell he genuinely loved Regina. He didn't deserve to die.

"Thank you," Regina said stiffly.

Emma side-eyed Regina.

"You're going to be okay," Emma said. "You've got me and Henry. We'll get you through this."

Regina doesn't response. She stared out the window lifelessly.

They must have drove around the town thirty-times, but it was worth it to see Regina gradually relax. She even fell asleep with her head pressed against the window.

When the sunlight slants in through the car window to lie on Regina's face, Emma felt her emotions rise up fierce and strong to dwell in her chest. She gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles.

There wasn't a way to bring Robin back. Emma had already check. Gold told her that the Olympian crystal had shattered his soul. It erased his existence right down to the very last atom.

Regina couldn't get the same closure that Robin was in a better place like with Daniel.

Emma was aware how much that haunts Regina.

It was tearing Regina apart.

"You're going to be fine," Emma swore. Her voice was loud, but Regina must have been tired. She doesn't even stir. Knowing that Regina hadn't slept well enough in days, Emma allowed Regina to rest.

Regina was still asleep when Emma brought her back home. Picking up Regina (it was disturbing how light she was) Emma bridal carried her up the walkway to where Snow already had the door open.

"Zelena's asleep, too." Snow mention.

"Thanks," Emma said gratefully.

Snow just smiled. She left to go find David and Zelena's still unnamed baby girl.

Emma was well aware of Henry following behind her as she took Regina up to the master bedroom. Working together, they made Regina as comfortable as they could. Emma carefully put Regina down on the bed and Henry covered her with a quilt.

Together, stubbornly (because that stubbornness was obviously inherited from Snow's side of the family), they watched over Regina.

The frown that was etched on Regina's sleeping face slowly disappeared into a more relax one.

In that room, all that mattered was their little family of three.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.

Warning: SwanQueen. Possibly misplaced grammar. English isn't my native language, but I promise to always try my best at catching every mistake I can.

AN: Hook and Emma never happened, but the Regina and Robin plot still remains. This takes place during the Split Regina/Evil Queen Arc.

* * *

**Ashes  
**

* * *

The first crush Emma ever had, had been on Lily. The first person she had fallen in love with was Neal. For Emma, it was never about gender but the connection.

She and Lily connected because they never really fit into this world (they didn't understand the reason at the time). They were both orphans, ungainly, and out-of-place. Emma had felt it instantly, like they were two halves of the same coin, when they first met. That spark, even though it was just one-sided, was the first time Emma felt anything romantic for anyone. Looking back, Emma was grateful that Lily never knew about her feelings.

Lily was the first friend Emma ever had.

For Emma and Neal, they connected because the streets, for all intents and purpose, was their parent. How to survive the world was a crash course they learned early on when they were young and Neal trusted people about as much as Emma did. When they first started working together pulling scams, he slept with one eye open because he was so damn sure Emma was going to rob him blindly in his sleep (even though he had nothing of value to steal) and Emma slept with a switch blade hidden in her hand (too many foster fathers who had been too touchy made her cautious). They easily fell into place with each other, even with their issues. It felt almost like fate. After a while that hesitant trust they had in each other turned into absolute trust. Then love. Neal was the first person she ever trusted her heart with. Even after he left her to rot in jail, that feeling never really disappear even when the anger and disappointment set in. First loves were hard to get over.

Especially when they came close to being a second love.

At his funeral, Emma remembered holding on tightly to Henry before a slender hand came to rest on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Regina who had a sympathetic look in her eyes. If anyone could understand losing a first love, it was Regina.

Regina, ignoring all the protest from Snow and David, took Henry and Emma back to mansion. She sat them down in the kitchen and she moved to cook them lunch. Emma and Henry, too sad and too tired, sat mutely and watched as Regina pulled open the cabinets looking for ingredients. Soon, the smell of lasagna and apple pie waffled through the house. In unison, Emma and Henry's stomach rumbled.

"Eat," Regina ordered. She set a plate in front of each of them. She crossed her arms and gave them _the_ look (the stern one she always got that usually meant that Henry left his shoes in the middle of the hallway again or that Emma did something stupid). It was a_ 'don't argue with me'_ mom look. Henry, who knew what that look meant, picked up his fork and nudged Emma. Emma reluctantly picked up her spoon. She didn't think she could go pass three bites. The moment the lasagna passed her lips, however, Emma couldn't swallow fast enough before she was shoving the next spoonful in her mouth. Emma was hungrier than she realized. In the end, Henry and Emma ate everything on their plate. Regina sent Henry off to wash his face while she cleaned. When Regina moved to collect their plates, Emma's hand shot it. Her fingers managed to grab on to the cuff of Regina's sleeve.

"Thanks, Regina." Emma said gratefully.

Regina looked surprised.

"You welcome, Ms. Swan," Regina finally said.

When it came time for Emma to return the favor, Emma was a little lost. Unlike how Regina was flawlessly able to take care of her after Neal passed, Emma struggled with trying to help Regina. It has been a few weeks after Robin's death and right now Henry is the only one who could bring a smile to Regina.

But even those smiles were getting fewer.

Regina became more and more withdrawn as time passed. Randomly popping up wherever Regina was and taking her to lunch or taking her for long rides in the bug (it was starting to be their thing even if Regina does turned up a nose whenever she saw the car) was Emma's way of distracting her. Regina needed to get her mind off of Robin. In the past, Emma annoying the crap out of Regina always seem to pull Regina out of any funk. Or at least it was guarantee to make Regina angry (which Emma would take any day over the sad expression on Regina's face). She prodded, cajoled, and told horrible jokes that made the frown lines between Regina's brow deepen. Not a day goes by where Emma doesn't visit Regina at the manor since Regina had taken to hiding in her mansion like a hermit.

The only time she left the house was when Emma forced her to or when Henry begged.

One day, while Henry was staying over with her mother and father for a grandparent-grandkid bonding time, Emma stopped by the manor only to find the entire living room had been trashed. Picture frames were thrown and mangled, vases and glass was scattered all over on the floor, furniture were upturned and smashed. Not a single thing in the room was spared. Even the curtains were charred. In the mist of all the destruction was Regina, who sat in the middle of the room with angry tears pooling in her eyes.

Emma moved carefully through the room and she sat next to Regina.

The rage and grief was an invisible, toxic cloud that clung to Regina. The air around her was oppressive and heavy. Emma knew that it was a daily struggle for Regina to maintain control of her destructive side. Regina had spent more than half her life in that bitter dark cloud of hatred and anger and some things, some reactions, become instinctual. Regina has deep-rooted dark tendencies and so many issues that Archie was set for life with a job. Henry had changed her, but Emma doesn't doubt that the instincts and urges were still there, crawling beneath the skin. Robin's death just makes that struggle harder.

"I can feel her itching to come out. To hurt people the way I'm hurting," Regina finally said. Her legs were pulled up so that she could wrap her arms around them. She hid her face in her knees. She couldn't look at Emma. "If that happens-"

"It won't," Emma interrupted.

"But if it does, if it comes to that point-"

"It won't."

Regina just shook her head.

Regina was afraid of losing control and hurting people.

She would have done anything to prevent it.

Never in a million years, however, would Emma thought that Regina would be desperate enough to take the potion that Jekyll invented.

Emma had met the Evil Queen in all her glory once (that one time she and Hook inadvertently ended up in the past). She had forgotten how terrifying that version of Regina was.

Emma felt shivers down her spine when bitter black-orb eyes stared at her. She found her magic sputtering when they confronted each other because deep down, Emma doesn't want to hurt the Evil Queen. Not when she has Regina's face.

"I know how you feel about her," the Evil Queen said. An elegant eyebrow arched. This was the umpteen confrontation and it took place on top of the roof of Granny's Diner. Emma was alone. She briefly wondered how long it would take before the others arrive to help.

"I don't really see what you see in her," the Evil Queen remarked.

"You're the same person, you know," Emma said warily.

"We're nothing alike," the Evil Queen smirked. "I'm not that weak."

"She's not weak," Emma said defensively.

The Evil Queen rolled her eyes. "She's nothing."

The words, said in a matter-of-fact voice, made Emma cringe.

The door burst open and her father and Hook came stumbling through. By the time they straighten, the Evil Queen was gone and Emma was left staring at the space where she use to be.

After that, they clashed almost on a daily basis. More often than not, Emma comes out of the fight bruised, battered, and sore. But on the bright side of things, she's managed to stay alive so far. One of the perks was that she ends up spending a lot of time with Regina who heals her with magic.

"We have to stop her," Regina grimace. She waved her hand and the black eye Emma had sported disappeared. "The next time she might maim you."

"If that happens you'll put me back together right?" Emma asked rather cheeky.

Regina gave her a deadpan look. "This is serious, Emma."

Emma sighed. "I know."

There was no doubt that the Evil Queen was a huge threat. She was already trying to make an ally out of Zelena (and to Emma wariness, it seems to be working). There was a craftiness in the Evil Queen that was lacking in other villains like Pan or Arthur. Regina had always warn that she shouldn't be underestimated. Emma thought it was an ego thing. It took three sprain ribs for Emma to realized that Regina was right. The Evil Queen side of Regina was cunning. She was always one step ahead of them. No matter what they tried they just can't seem to get a solid hold on her, but even if they did manage to trap her, what would they do with her? Execute her? Lock her in the basement of the hospital? Deep down, the Evil Queen was still a part of Regina. That meant she deserve to a get a second chance, right? The mix of emotions that Emma felt battled each other.

Regina finished healing the rest of Emma's wounds and she tiredly took a seat.

In the kitchen light, Regina looked exhausted and pale. She hasn't had a full, good night sleep since releasing the Evil Queen. Between protecting Henry, watching over Zelena and the baby, and trying to find a way to defeat her darker half, it was amazing that Regina could even stay steady on her feet.

"You should get some sleep," Emma said getting up from her chair. "Sorry for making you heal me."

Next time, Emma promised herself, she'll go to Mother Superior or even Whale to get her wounds treated. Emma could have kicked herself for bothering an already worn and drained Regina.

Regina got up and walked Emma to the door. Emma took a few steps down the walkway when Regina's voice stopped her.

"Be careful," Regina warned. There was concern in her eyes as she gazed at Emma. "The only person she won't hurt is Henry. Everyone else is just collateral to her. She'll rip out your heart if you give her a chance."

With that, the door close.

...

_The sound of swords clashing..._

_The feel of a metal hilt in her hand as she fought desperately..._

_The glimpse of pale skin underneath a dark hood..._

Emma jolted up in bed with sweat rolling down her face.

...

The sessions with Archie (Emma had given in after her mother's persistence that she talk with someone about her nightmares) was awkward and long. Archie wasn't the first shrink she's been to. Plenty of foster parents thought that speaking with someone would help iron out her issues. It was just that Archie was the first shrink to be her friend, so sharing her thoughts and feelings with him made Emma squirm slightly.

"So this hooded figure, he or she kills you?" Archie asked.

"Yeah," Emma mumbled. Even now, she could feel the burning pain as cold steel sliced into her stomach. After a moment pause, she added, "Aladdin told me that dying is the fate of all saviors."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Like running away," Emma said truthfully. Leaning back on the couch, Emma stared up the ceiling of Archie's office. "I don't want to die."

"Dying is a common fear for most people," Archie remarked. He gave Emma a scrutinizing look. "Is it just dying that worries you?"

"No." Emma pulled her eyes from the ceiling to look at Archie. "It's who kills me that I'm more concern with."

Archie gave an 'ah' of understanding. "Do you know who's under the hood, Emma?"

"No, but I have a good guess," Emma closed her eyes.

"Who do you think it is?" Archie asked.

Opening her eyes, she stared Archie straight in the eye.

"Regina," she said.

The mournful note in her voice couldn't be missed.

...

_The feeling of blood soaking through her shirt..._

_The look of fear on her mother and everyone's faces that was watching the battle..._

_Everyone was there except for one person..._

Emma shot up in bed with a wildly pounding heart.

...

The lack of sleeping was making her look haggard if the concern look on Archie's face was anything to go by. Emma had looked in the mirror that morning with a grimace when she noticed the dark bags under her eyes. Combined with how pale she was and with her slightly sunken cheeks, Emma looked like death warmed over.

"I don't want to die," she said as Archie looked compassionately on.

She repeated those words, almost like mantra, at every session.

...

"I'm going to grant your wish," the Evil Queen said. A twisted smile crept on her lips. "I'm going to send you to a place where you were never the savior."

"You heard me," Emma whispered.

"I hear everything," the Evil Queen remarked. She gleefully produced a lamp and rubbed it. Emma felt her father and Hook take a step closer to her.

Aladdin looked confused and worried when he appeared. His eyes took in everything from Jasmine who was tied to a chair, to a gloating Evil Queen, to Emma.

"Genie, I wish for Emma Swan's wish to never be the savior be granted."

Aladdin looked guilty.

Raising his hand, Emma barely had a chance to brace herself before a fierce warmth crashed into her.

The feeling of turning to ash was the last thing she remembered before everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.

Warning: SwanQueen. Possibly misplaced grammar. English isn't my native language, but I promise to always try my best at catching every mistake I can.

AN: This takes place during the Wish Realm Arc. AU in some parts. Wish-Robin does not make an appearance. This is a continuation from the last chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Alternate Beginnings**

* * *

Growing up, Princess Emma heard all the stories about the Evil Queen. About how she relentlessly hunted Snow White for years through the kingdom. How she pillaged villages. How she killed indiscriminately anyone who got in her path. How cold heart and ruthless she was and how her hatred of Emma's family eclipsed everything good that was in her life including a beloved father. Emma has even heard the rumors about a dark curse that the Evil Queen was planning to cast before she was defeated and banished.

The Evil Queen was a horror story told to children to scare them into behaving. Be good or the powerful sorceress taught by the Dark One himself will come for you, they would say.

In Emma's mind the image she had of the woman who still haunts her mother's dreams were one of an old woman with straw like hair, beady eyes, a hook nose, and a bent back who held that famous poison apple with gnarled bone-like fingers. She told the description to her mother who gave her a wry smile.

"Actually, she was quite beautiful," her mother said, almost in a wistful tone.

Young Emma looked doubtful.

Surely, a person who was as ugly on the inside had to be as ugly on the outside.

Emma doesn't say anything more as a sad look crept in her mother's eyes. Her mother always got that expression when she thought about the Evil Queen. There was sadness, regret, and longing there. Emma patted her mother's hand to comfort her.

Snow White smiled before she kissed Emma on the forehead and tucked her into bed.

Yes, Emma thought. Anyone who could even think about hurting her kind, gentle mother had to be a monster and look like it too.

Then one day, she stumbled upon a portrait hidden in an old, unused room in the castle that she found while hiding away from her nurse.

It was the Evil Queen before she was evil.

This was Queen Regina.

Emma sat on the floor with her dress billowing out. Putting her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, Emma stared. Dark, phantom-like eyes stared back at her. Draped in an elegant gown, Queen Regina looked solemnly out of the painting.

Her mother had been right.

The Evil Queen was beautiful.

There was something familiar about that gaze and Emma felt something stir inside of her as she continued to stare. She would have kept staring for hours if she hadn't heard her nurse's frantic voice in the distance.

Getting up, Emma brushed the dust from her dress. With one last look at Queen Regina's face, she left.

She returned later just to gaze some more at that portrait.

Something drew her to that room, unbidden, and Emma found herself often sneaking back when no one was watching her. That room and that Queen Regina became Emma's secret.

"I have dreams," Emma whispered to the portrait. Emma felt safe talking about her secret dreams."I'm all grown up and in this world where there are strange things."

_"In the dream, I lived in a place called Storybrook..."_

_ "I dreamed that there were little people speaking from a tiny box. The little man always seemed to be able to predict tomorrow's weather." _

_"I drove around in a yellow horseless carriage!"_

Queen Regina never uttered a word.

As she got older the dreams came less and Emma stopped going as often as she use to as her royal duties began to take over her life. The visits and the dreams stopped completely when she met Neal and had Henry.

Emma honestly forgot about it until she decided to pick flowers one day.

"Emma?" The Evil Queen appeared right in front of her, young and beautiful, just like the portrait in the castle. There was a perplex look on her face as she stared at Emma. She stared at Emma's dress with wide-eyes. "What the hell happened to you?"

Emma gasped in horror. "The Evil Queen," she whispered in fright. She almost lost her basket as she ran for cover behind a tree.

"Wait! You don't know who I am?" The Evil Queen frowned.

"I know exactly who you are," Emma said, peeking around the bark. "You're the Evil Queen."

"No, I'm-" the Queen seemed at loss for words. "I'm your friend."

"You're nobody friends," Emma answered back. "My father says you're a liar."

"Emma, listen. This world, it isn't real." The Queen seemed to struggle to explain. "Back where we're from we're friends. We even share custody of a son."

Emma gave her a disbelieving look.

"Okay, it's complicated." The Queen ran a hand through her short hair. "The main point is that I'm here to take you home."

An arrow narrowly missed the Evil Queen.

"Stay away from her Regina!"

Emma felt relief when she saw her parents. "Mommy. Daddy! Help!"

Her father drew his sword and her mother redrew her bow and arrow.

"How are you here?" Her father demanded. "You were banished."

"The fairies made sure that you could never step on this land. How are you here?" Snow sharply questioned.

"Snow?" The Queen gaped. She turned from one person to the other. "David?"

"Show some respect," her father growled. "It's your majesties. This is our Kingdom now."

"You're so old," the Queen snorted.

"Mock us all you like, but we shall never back down from protecting our people," her mother said gallantly.

The Queen decided to ignore them in favor of turning back to Emma. "Emma, this isn't real. This is just hallucinations. A part of you has to know that!"

"Step away from my daughter!" Her father threatened.

"Emma, you have to believe me!" The Queen looked to Emma imploringly.

"Never," Emma declared.

The hurt look that was shot at Emma made Emma's chest hurt in guilt.

Someone as evil as the Evil Queen shouldn't look that wounded.

"Damn it!" The Queen vanished in a puff of purple smoke when Emma's father lunged for her.

"Are you okay?" Her mother rushed forward.

"I'm alright," Emma assured.

"We have to get the council together," her father said urgently. "She's back."

Her mother nodded grimly.

All Emma could do was watch them helplessly.

...

In a unanimous decision extra guards would be posted outside of all the royal members' bedroom at night. Seeing who her guard was made Emma hurry forward. The aging man, who was also her God father, enveloped her into his arms.

Graham, the man who saved her mother's life all those years ago, smile warmly at her. His graying beard scratched at Emma's face when he kissed on her the forehead.

"Sweet dreams, kid," he said fondly as he ushered her in her room.

"Night, Graham," Emma beamed.

He gave her head a fond pat before the door closed.

…

"_You made me a monster!" _

_The Evil Queen in her dream was angry at her. She had done something unforgivable and Emma felt guilt, deep dark guilt, as she watched the Evil Queen break in front of her. _

_Princess Emma felt herself take a step back as a wave of cold black magic swept through the air. _

"_I'm sorry," Princess Emma pleaded. "Regina, please!" _

_The Evil Queen snarled. _

_A ball of black fire appeared in her hand. _

_Without another world, she threw it at Emma. _

Princess Emma woke up gasping. Clutching at her nightgown, she quietly shuddered.

"Emma?"

A black figure detached from the shadows. Before she could scream, the black shadow raised a hand and Emma found herself soundlessly screaming. Another wave of a hand and they disappeared into a puff of smoke.

Emma found herself in another bed in different room where there was heavy music rumbling below them. They were in a room above a tavern where even if she wasn't magically silence, Emma doubted that anyone could have heard her scream. The Evil Queen moved forward. "Listen, Emma. I'm here to rescue you."

All Emma could do was stared at her in fright.

"Can you really not remember me?" The Evil Queen asked. There was a line between her brow as she frowned. "Damn it."

She began to pace.

"I need to get you back home." She looked Emma up and down and for some reason Emma felt a little flustered as those dark eyes scrutinized her figure. Emma was wearing her favorite nightgown. The billowing pink sleep gown with laced flowers sewn onto the bodice and gold bottom trim seemed to entertain the Evil Queen for some reason. A snort broke out before the Evil Queen brought out a black device and pointed it at Emma. There was a small click.

"Blackmail," the Evil Queen said, answering Emma confused expression. There was a look of amusement in her eyes. "For when we get you back to normal."

She sighed as she continued to study Emma.

"If you promise not to scream, I'll give you back your voice. Deal?"

Emma agreed with her eyes.

Suddenly, she could speak again.

"What do you want?" Emma whispered.

"To get back to our son," the Evil Queen said honestly. "We need to get back to Storybrook."

"_In the dream, I lived in a place called Storybrook..." _

Emma gaped. "How do you know about my dream?"

The name of the place she use to dream about suddenly seemed all too real.

"Dream?" The Evil Queen looked puzzled. A light came into her eyes. "Storybrook, you remember it?"

"I use to dream about such a place. Back when I was a child," Emma's eyes were wide.

"What else?" The Evil Queen asked urgently.

Under pressure, Emma told her almost everything she dreamed about over the years. When she was finished, the Evil Queen shook her head.

"Your memories of this place isn't real," the Evil Queen said. "Your dreams are your real memories."

The secret ability Emma had, to always know when someone was lying, didn't flare up. It didn't flare up in the woods when she first met the Evil Queen and it didn't flare up now. Was it possible that she was telling the truth?

'No. She's a sorceress,' Emma thought to herself. 'Of course she's lying.'

Still...she had to know.

"I had a dream. In it you were angry at me. You said that I made you a monster." Emma wasn't sure what answer she was expecting. There was surprise on the Evil Queen's face before a wary look came into her expression.

"That was in the past," the Evil Queen hedged.

"How did I make you a monster?" Emma asked. She couldn't get the image of the Evil Queen crying out of her head. "Tell me. Maybe I'll believe you about this world."

It was a good thing the Evil Queen couldn't detect the lie in Emma's voice.

Running a hand through her hair, the Evil Queen looked hesitant. "It happened back in our world. You, to save my life, turned me into one of the things I hated most," the Evil Queen admitted. "You turned me into the Dark One."

At the mention of the Dark One, Emma flinched. Rumpelstiltskin was one of the most evil beings in the world. If she turned the Evil Queen into the Dark One- if she gave the Evil Queen his powers-the amount of destruction must have been overwhelming.

"Is that why you were angry at me?" Emma asked hesitantly.

"Yes." The Evil Queen admitted.

"But I did it to save your life?" Emma asked in confusion.

"Yes, but I would have preferred to die as a hero. Someone our son could have been proud of." There was pain in the Evil Queen's voice. "You took that choice away from me even when I begged you to let me die a savior." She looked at Emma. "I considered you a friend and you betrayed me."

Emma hung her head.

"It's not completely your fault," the Evil Queen relented. "Being the Dark One is like being in an endless black tunnel where no light can shine. There's nothing but hurt, misery, and pain. If it's not channeled properly, it can be overwhelming." The Evil Queen looked a little sour. "You and Gold managed to control the darkness fairly well. I wasn't as fortunate. I let the pain and anger overwhelm me."

"Gold?" Emma asked. Something about that name sent uneasiness coursing through her.

"His real name is Rumpelstiltskin." The Evil Queen sharply looked at Emma. "Do you remember something?"

Emma shook her head.

Regina sighed. She looked at the black device in her hand and she tapped a few buttons. She turned the device to Emma. "I have a message for you."

Suddenly, on the strange black device, Henry's smiling face appeared.

And it was Henry, because no matter what, Emma would always recognize her son.

"Henry," Emma whispered. At his frozen image Emma felt her heart race as she went to her knees and began pleading. "Mercy please! I'll do anything you want, but please release him, I beg of you."

The Evil Queen looked confused before it dawned on her. "He's not trapped. This is a cell phone video. We use it to record messages and communicate in our world."

"He's not trapped?" Emma honestly did not understand most of what the Evil Queen was saying, but the sheer relief that her son wasn't trapped in that strange object was enough to make her heart beat normally again.

"Our son is fine," The Evil Queen shook her head. "Just watch and listen."

She tapped something at the bottom of the device.

"Hey mom," Henry spoke. His image came to life. "I don't know where you are, but I hope you're okay. Come back soon. I love you."

He looked off to someone in the unseen background.

"You'll come back soon too, right mom?"

The Evil Queen's voice could be heard in the background. "Of course," her voice was soft. "I'll make sure to bring back Emma."

"Be careful mom," the concern was obvious in his voice. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The image went black.

The Evil Queen placed the device back into her pocket and Emma fought the urge to lunge and grab it back.

"Nothing in this world is real. You feel it right? That something is missing?"

A part of Emma pang at the Evil Queen's words because yes, growing up, Emma has always felt that hole in her heart where something important was missing. She has never been completely at ease in this life and now here was the Evil Queen giving her a reason why.

"Emma?" a hand waved in front of her face. The Evil Queen's brows furred. "You believe me, don't you?"

Emma looked deep into the eyes of the woman who had turned her life upside down.

Deep in her heart, Emma felt the truth even as she desperately tried to reject it.

"Yes," she finally said. "I believe you."

The Evil Queen smiled. It was a genuine smile, one that lit her face and made it radiant.

'She's beautiful,' Emma realized. For some unknown reason, her heart skipped.

"Ok," the Evil Queen looked determined. "Let's get your memory back."

...

The Evil Queen pushed her off a cliff.

Emma screamed all the way down.

Just as she was about to hit the ground, an invisible force caught her safely. There was tears in Emma's eyes when she was able to stand.

"Why?" Emma sobbed.

"You used your magic to save yourself the last time," the Evil Queen remarked.

"You mean you've pushed me off a cliff before?!" Emma was horrified.

The Evil Queen smiled. "It's actually one of my fondest memories," she admitted.

Emma was aghast.

…

In the villages and in the woods, poster hung everywhere with Regina (the Evil Queen insisted on being called that) and Emma's portraits.

"You're a kidnapper now," Emma pointed out.

Regina gave her a dark look.

Emma wisely closed her mouth.

…

For the next few days they traveled in disguise thanks to Regina's magic. The novelty of it awed Emma who watched everything in fascination; from the people of her Kingdom milling about, to the different fashion, to the vast array of food stalls where the smell of bread baking and meat cooking waffled through the air.

Emma's stomach rumbled.

"Some things don't change," Regina muttered. She brought two pastries made of fried dough from a corner stall. From the opening of an alley, they watched the crowds.

It was so strange not to be recognized, Emma thought. Munching on her food she enjoyed the anonymity of not having people bow and lavish attention on her. Life as a royal had never afford her the peace and quiet she wanted. Right there, where no one knew who she was, she felt free in a way she's never felt before. Emma felt giddy. Feeling someone's stare, she turned and saw Regina carefully studying her.

"What is it?" Emma wondered if she had another twig in her hair.

"Nothing," Regina shook her head. "It's just that...are you happy?"

"I'm sorry?" Emma grew confused.

"Are you happy here?" Regina seemed curious. "Not being the savior, I mean."

Emma paused in thought. "I don't remember what being the savior was like," Emma finally said. "But I was happy."

Emma had two loving parents and a great son. She was a princess and heir to one of the largest, most prosperous kingdom. What more could she honestly asked for?

Regina looked off to the distance.

"Was I not happy in the other world?" Emma asked.

It took a moment for Regina to reply. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Emma frowned. "I thought we were friends."

"We are, but it doesn't mean that I know everything about you." Regina looked a little annoyed. "You're a hard person to understand sometimes."

"I'm sure the feeling was mutual," Emma replied back rather snappish. She cover her mouth a moment later. "I'm so sorry! That was rude of me."

To her surprise, Regina smiled. "It's alright. That was more like the old Emma."

Something dark twisted itself inside of Emma's heart. "You really miss her, don't you? The old Emma."

Regina doesn't reply to Emma's question. "Let's go," she said instead. Regina walked off and Emma scrabbled behind her.

"Where are we going again?" Emma asked.

"To find a puppet maker," Regina said. "I think I might know of a way back home."

Obediently, Emma followed.

While they traveled, Regina insisted on magic lessons that seem to go nowhere much to Emma's distress. Regina was a merciless teacher. She often forced Emma to kept practicing until Emma became worn out and a little moody. Whenever they had to camp out in the woods, Regina had to be the one to create the fire that kept them safe and warm during the night because Emma couldn't even conjure a spark.

Emma stared at her hands.

"It takes time," Regina said after they set up camp for the night. "Magic is complicated." She poked a stick into the fire. "It's different for everyone even when the basis is the same."

"I don't understand," Emma looked at Regina with a perplex expression.

"Different strokes for different folks is a saying we have in our world." A fireball appeared in Regina's hand. Emma stared at it in awe. "Most innate magic begins with strong emotions. The stronger the emotion the stronger the magic."

"Am I not feeling strongly enough?" Emma asked.

"Perhaps," Regina replied. "You got there once. You'll get there again."

The faith that Regina had in her made Emma feel warm.

She determinedly kept practicing.

...

"I'm sorry, my father died a few years ago," the wary man said. His names was Pinocchio and he was Gepetto's son. There was something familiar about the man, but Emma couldn't quite remember. The memory was elusive and vague, but Emma got the sense that he was important to her. Perhaps in the other world they were friends.

Emma saw how he warily kept on eye on Regina.

"She's not who you think she is," Emma said. "You can trust her."

Pinocchio's eyes went to her and he hesitantly nodded. "What can I do for you, Princess?"

Emma looked to Regina.

"Years ago, your father made a magical wardrobe that was a doorway to another world. You and Emma were to be sent through where it would be safe in case the Evil Queen won. Where is it?"

Pinocchio frowned. "My father never made a wardrobe."

"Are you sure?" Regina began to look frantic. "Maybe he hid it."

"Everything my father made is in this shop," Pinocchio gestured to the small work shop. "I'm pretty sure a magical wardrobe would have stood out."

"Maybe he never made it because there wasn't a need for it," Emma suggested.

"I never cast the curse in this world," Regina rubbed her temple. Her eyes went to Pinocchio. "Alright, then I need you to make it."

Pinocchio squeaked slightly. "Me?"

"You're his son. You must have learned how to craft from him." Regina looked impatient. "Do you need anything?"

Pinocchio began to protest.

Regina's demands and Pinocchio's objection began to volley back and forth, raising in pitch until Emma got a headache. Eventually, Emma was the one to talk him into it.

"Just believe in yourself," she urged.

Pinocchio looked pained, but in the end Emma wore him down until he agreed. While he set out to grab the wood to make the wardrobe, Emma and Regina hid in a small spare room inside of his shop.

"What will happen when we get back?" Emma asked. She sat on a chair and she looked at Regina.

"We get your memory back, defeat my darker half, and get our lives back to normal," Regina answered.

"You make it sound so easy," Emma told her.

"It's not going to be easy," Regina agreed. "But we'll find a way. We always do."

…

When Pinocchio came back carrying the wood, he began to work.

...

The wardrobe was just finished when Henry found them. There was anger in his eyes when he stared at Regina. The rage in them made Emma want to cower.

There was a stark difference between this Henry and the Henry on the 'Phone'. The Henry from Storybrook that wished for her to get back safely was a kind, gentle, sweet boy. This Henry, wearing a fancy amour fit for a prince, was spoiled, over-confident, and short-tempered.

It was as if the scales had fallen from Emma's eyes.

This is what Henry would have become if Emma had raised him.

Never had she been more grateful for Regina.

Emotions swelled in Regina's face when she stared at Henry. In that moment, Emma knew. Even though this Henry wasn't real, Regina couldn't bring herself to hurt him.

"Henry! No!"

When Henry lunged for Regina, something coursed through Emma. Something light but strong.

Henry stopped abruptly and he didn't move. The blade in his hand was inches from Regina's chest.

The memories (of Storybrook, of Henry, of her parents and Regina) came flowing back.

"I remember everything," Emma said with wide eyes. She stared at the frozen Henry in disbelief.

"Emma?" Regina, whose eyes were just as large, stared at Emma closely.

"I couldn't let him hurt you," Emma looked down at her hands. The moment she saw Regina hesitant when it came to hurting Henry, her memories came rushing back.

In the background, Pinocchio gaped.

"Let's go home," Regina said running a hand through her hair. "I want to get back to our son."

"Yeah," Emma turned to Pinocchio. She grinned. "Thanks for everything."

"You welcome?" Pinocchio looked unsure. He offered a weak smile. "Good luck with everything."

With that, Regina flung open the doors to the wardrobe.

She and Emma jumped in.

…

Defeating the Evil Queen never meant destroying her.

It turned out that accepting her was all it took.

Emma watched as Regina touched her pure red heart to the Evil Queen's black one. Almost instantly, they reverted back to the way their heart use to be; red but with spots of black marring around.

"Why would you do this?" The Evil Queen said. There were bitter tears in her eyes.

"I should have never split the two of us apart," Regina admitted. "I did it because I hated myself." The Evil Queen looked ready to spit venom, but Regina continued. "But I learned something recently." She earnestly looked at the dark version of herself. "I learned to like who I am. We have our faults and our mistakes, but we're better than we were before."

The heart was gently placed back into the Evil Queen's chest.

"It's time we stopped hating ourselves. Don't you agree?"

All the Evil Queen could do was sobbed.

...

_The Evil Queen went some place where she could get a fresh start._

_..._

When Emma knocked on the door and Regina answered, Emma thought that Regina looked better. The invisible dark cloud that always seems to hang over Regina was gone and she didn't look as pale or as tired as she was before. In fact, Emma doesn't think she's ever seen Regina look so unstressed and relax.

"Aesop Fable?" Emma suggested with a cheeky grin.

"Let's go," Regina grabbed her jacket. "You're paying of course."

"Wait, why am I paying?" Emma protested as they walked down the driveway. "You're the mayor, you make more than me."

Regina pulled out her phone. When she showed the photo, Emma paled.

The image of Emma in the frilliest, pinkest nightgown in all of history made Emma want to vomit.

"I wonder what would happen if Snow were to get her hands on this," Regina remarked.

"You wouldn't! Regina? Regina!"

Emma, who always chasing after Regina, hurried to catch up.

Even from a mile away, their bickering could be heard.

It may not have been the ending she wanted for Regina, Emma thought later. But it was a happy ending. Somehow, seeing how unburdened Regina was made everything worth it.

Robin would have agreed.

"A toast," Snow held up her glass. "To new and happy beginnings."

"To family," Emma cheered.

"To love," Regina said. There was a faraway look in her eyes.

"To love," Emma agreed.

The clinks of clear glass rang through the bar despite all the noise.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.

Warning: SwanQueen. Possibly misplaced grammar. English isn't my native language, but I promise to always try my best at catching every mistake I can.

AN: Takes place years after the final battle. This is the end of this fic...thanks for reading this far.

* * *

**A Happy Ending**

* * *

The years in Storybrook seemed to have flown by faster than the blink of an eye. For someone like Emma, who has never stayed in one place for more than a few months, it was a shock to the system to realize that so much time had passed. One moment she was just arriving in Storybrook with her biological runaway juvie son and the next, she was helping that same kid, now eighteen-years-old, load the bug (Emma's gift to him) as he headed out the door for the University of Boston and towards a separate life that didn't include her.

Next to her, Regina was fighting back tears. Once everything was loaded in and ready, he turned to them.

He pulled Emma first into his arms.

"I love you, Mom," he said. His chin came to rest on top of her head. He had grown to be taller than she was. His voice was deeper and the baby fat in his face had given way to well defined cheek bones and a strong jaw. In fact, he was the spitting image of Neal as a young teen complete with the unruly hair and the charming smile. A part of Emma pang at that thought. If Neal was alive today, he would have been proud. Henry had grown up to be a good man who thankfully didn't inherit her or Neal's recklessness (though that level headiness could be contributed to Regina's influence). Henry was an adult now. It was a hard lump to swallow because no matter how old he got, in her head he would always be the ten-year-old boy that showed up on her doorstep all those years ago and made her believe in magic.

Emma held onto him tightly.

Then, doing what had to be the hardest thing in her life to do, Emma let him go.

Henry then turned to Regina.

"I love you, Mom," he said. His voice cracked a little as he pulled her into a tight hug. Regina sobbed and clung to him and Emma briefly had to wonder if she would have to pry Regina's nails from Henry's shirt.

A moment later Regina composed herself long enough to let him go.

"I'll be back for the holidays," he promised.

"Call me when you get there," Regina ordered through her tears.

"I will."

And just like that he got into the car and he drove off.

They waved from the sidewalk until the bug disappear from their sight.

Emma couldn't help but think that Storybrook, somehow, seemed a little less magical without Henry.

A sniff by her side caught Emma's attention. Emma turned to Regina who looked as if she was inches from bolting after the car. Seeing the half proud, half despairing look on Regina's face sent a streak of affection coursing through Emma.

"Marry me," Emma said.

Regina's head swivel so fast that Emma felt a little twinge of sympathy when Regina groaned in pain.

"What did you say?" Regina asked.

"Marry me," Emma repeated. Life generally was a revolving door with people coming and going. Even family eventually drift apart as they lived their own lives. The only thing Emma was dead sure about was that she was always going to right next to Regina. After all, she even followed Regina to the Underworld. Death till they part was nothing to them.

Emma moved to gently massage Regina's neck and she hid the smile when Regina moved unconsciously into her touch. Emma leaned forward so that their foreheads touched and she stare into Regina's eyes. "What do you say?"

Regina hesitated.

Then she answered.

It took them eight years, sixteen days, and four minutes to get to this point, but only fifteen-minutes to get the courthouse and sign the paper that tied them legally to each other.

The first thing they did as a married couple was just to walk together on the wharf.

Emma found herself looking for the Jolly Roger.

Killian had left years ago, setting sails for something bigger and better. Occasionally, he would send Emma waterproof letters through Ariel, but those got fewer and fewer as time passed. In the last message, dated a year ago, he seemed to be doing well. Enjoying life and the ladies, the letter said (it was punctuated with a crude drawing of a winky face). He seemed happy where he was, but there were times where Emma missed him with a ferociousness that surprised even her. No one quite understood her like Killian. The memories of all the mayhem they tended to cause just walking down the street together made Emma want to cringe and laugh at the same time. Wistfully, she stared at the fishing boats that were docked. She was distracted when Regina bumped her shoulder into Emma.

Emma causally reached out and her fingers slipped to entwine with Regina's fingers.

"Getting fresh with me dear?" the mocking tone in Regina's voice couldn't be missed.

"I got fresh with you a long time ago," Emma snort back.

They fell into silence as they kept walking.

"I don't hate you," Regina said quietly.

Even after all these years, Regina couldn't say those three words to Emma that most normal people could say without hesitation to their partner. Regina has been burned too many times. Emma thought (and here she's realized that she's been spending way too much time with Archie) that a part of Regina might still be frighten. Regina has lost everyone, with the exception of Henry, she's ever said those words to. Instead of uttering "I love you," she says the one thing that came close enough to it that Emma would recognize.

Emma squeezed her hand.

"I love you, too," she said to Regina.

Emma has enough courage for the both of them.

Side by side, they moved forward to their happy ending.


End file.
